A reflection or a realization?

 Its about time I start writting blogs when I'm not sad or confused. Am I really never not though. anyways today I woke up on the right side of the bed,and thought to write something. I still dont know what I am going to write about, but I'll figure it out along the way. Maybe that's how I should be approaching life. just adding one step  at a time. I mean it makes sense, it saves you from being overwhelmed by the person you could become at the end of the journey. So I rather live my life in days, or maybe months. Just breaking down my life in the time intervals i feel comfortable with. 

And this is the part i start talking about self love. I finally believe in being kinder to myself, I realized that when everyone else is rough on the boy, it wouldnt make sense to also feed myself the negativity. I think its beautiful when I am gentle to myself. I mean and could mean I am being weak but sometimes I end up feeling stronger. 

I mean sometimes I enter the Gym and start lifting all these weights I never thought I could lift. My strength suprises me sometimes, and it feels so good. it feels so good to be powerful. its sometimes satifying to realize that you are in control of a difficult situation like lifting heavy dumbels for a short moment in your life. 

It would be great if I also had this power in my own life. Being able to know you are in charge by taking well-thought actions that lead you to becoming greater in life. but sometimes I loose the feeling of control. I end up doing things I instantly regret. I take some clumsy decisions I wont lie. But life taught me to never give up on myself.

At times people might even think that you are crazy or unaware of what you are doing. I do get tempted to believing them when I use my logic. but a bit of my heart, soul and maybe some fragemants of my unconscious mind, tell me that I am meant for greater things in life

You might be asking, what are these greater things in life you talk of, is it the freedom to travel the world and enjoy the experiences of life, is it buying a fancy car and a fancy house. Is it maybe finding a good beautiful girl that i can end up loving and marrying, Or perhaps is it making my parents proud. maybe its supporting my sisters in any way possible to ensure they have good lives. Or maybe its finding the grace of God and really discovering what my purpose is. And that is really what i want to discover. What AM I REALLY MADE FOR?